Friday, July 30, 2010


This is going to sound really stupid, but I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

I know I live in San Diego. I know it's summer. But we've had SO little sun lately, and SO much grey, and I spend all day at work inside during the only times that it MIGHT be sunny in an interior office or lab. I miss the sun and I think it's making me clinically depressed. I think that's why life has been so hard lately too.

I'm really glad we're moving inland where there will be more sun :)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Problem identified, now I need a solution

I think I've figured something out, part of the reason I'm so stressed.

My life is no longer compartmentalized. It use to be that I left work at work. I didn't think about it when I went home and that stress and work stayed waiting for me to come in the next day. Now it's on the back of my mind all the time. Things at work are stressful and overwhelming and I'm sort of always running that program in the background.

Home doesn't stay at home either. I'm constantly thinking about house dilemmas and issues. I'm also worrying about the trust we're setting up and trying to work out details in the background.

My computer of a brain has slowed way down from all the overloading.

And, of course, pregnancy is kind of a 24/7 gig too. Last night I failed to sleep with my body pillow for part of the night and when I tried to roll over in the middle of the night I woke up in excruciating pain from my hip. Trying to move and being unable to from pain is unpleasant to the point of scary.

Weekends, while semi-lazy aren't the mind clearing experience they should be. I'm always wound too tight, but it's reached new levels lately.

I'm so ready for October, when work will be on serious hold, the house will be ours and moving will be over and hopefully the trust will be complete. I'm going to relish the joy of only one thing I'm trying to juggle, despite how big a thing that may be.

Days Pregnant: 202
Days to go: 78

Monday, July 26, 2010

Short Fuse

I'm so incredibly on edge these days. It's really easy to get on my bad side and make me SUPER pissed off or even on the verge of tears. I've broken down crying at work from stress and it's probably going to happen again.

And I'm mad at nearly all of my support network, for one reason or another. I'm mad at my coworkers and I'm mad at all but like 4 of my friends. There are actually only about 5 people interact with regularly that I can think of that haven't in some way sent me into a rage lately. No matter how kind or well intending people are, I'm hormonal and there's very little I can do to stop being pissed off.

Now, for the most part I haven't actually snapped at anyone, but I am not doing well regardless. Walking around fuming with a smile on my face leads to a pretty unsatisfactory mood. In fact, keeping things bottled is probably making me stay mad LONGER because I don't feel like I have an outlet.

In any case, if I snap at you or I don't, please just tread lightly and remember that it's not my fault, it' s my hormones.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Post 100 and the pregnacy pain super hero

This is post 100!

And today's topic is again, the magic that it is to have a friend who understand what I'm doing wrong that's causing my body to hurt.

"Hey Lolly, my hip hurts. How do I fix it?"
"Where does it hurt, the top or the side?"
"Uh, I guess, the side."
"And is it muscle or bone? Does it ache or is it sharp pain"
"I'm not sure, it hurts when I move it."
"Ok, you're balance has shifted so you're using muscles in incorrect ways. Try to make sure you don't stick your let out to the side. Focus on walking with your legs straight in front of you and not off to the side, and when you get in and out of a chair, try to use both legs evenly and don't tilt."

5 minutes later I get up out of a chair, per her recommendations and low and behold, my hip, which has been aching like the Dickens all morning, doesn't hurt as much. Amazing!

Thanks Dance Major Lolly! You're my pregnancy pain superhero.

Days Pregnant: A lot
Days to go: way fewer

Monday, July 19, 2010

Braxton Hicks contractions have started.

Ok, another reason to be off caffeine, braxton hicks contractions.

I've been having them for a couple of days (maybe longer if I really think about it). They're infrequent, short and not that bad, but they do hurt. Apparently caffeine can make them worse.


Sleep, caffeine and confessions

Confession time: I intended to use caffeine sparingly in pregnancy. I pretty much went without through the first trimester. I did pretty well most of the second trimester only having caffeine two or three times a week, if that. And low quantities when I did have it. But the last month or so had gotten pretty bad. I was still on low quantities, but I had gotten into having it basically every day.

So then I read this article:

The very next day I gave caffeine up again. So now I'm on day 5 of no caffeine (you know, besides the stuff in chocolate... I'm still eating it I suppose). But life is hectic and I'm pregnant and not sleeping enough. On Sunday, the only day I reasonably could have slept in in the last 5 days, I woke up at 6:30am. That's a major bummer. And then I had a long day yesterday and got to bed at 1am. I could have slept in today, but I had to get to work.

And then this morning I get this article:

Neither of these specifically address pregnancy, but I'm really out of it today. I would love a nap, but about 95% of the time when I try to nap, I can't sleep. I'm just not a napper right now.

But according to the first article, all caffeine dependency is gone after 10 days of abstinence. I'm going to go at least that long and see how I feel. I'm hoping that I feel good and don't turn back to it, at least on any regular basis, for the rest of the pregnancy.

Sorry mom.

Days Pregnant: 194
Days to go: 86

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Leg Hair Growth

Today's post brought to you by the wide world of "Wait, what?"

It seems that my leg hair has nearly stopped growing. Only my leg hair. Everything else is either growing normally or faster than normal. But my leg hair... basically non-existent right now. I shave every 4-5 days... when I remember. It has been most of a week since I last shaved my legs and the hair on them is like my usual one day growth.

Odd, but convenient given that it's getting hot and I have some shorts and skirts now.

That's all.

Days Pregnant: 189
Days to go: 91

Friday, July 9, 2010

Throat Ache

I can't decide if my heartburn is causing the morning sickness at this point or if the morning sickness is causing the heartburn. In either case, my throat hurts and I feel ill. What should I take for throat burning from acid?

I have about 3 months to go. That's a very intense mix of good and bad. Good because I still have time to be by myself (I will really miss that), we're moving and I have time to get ready for that and get good sleep (mostly), we still have a lot to do before Sprat gets here and lot of other reasons. But I'm starting to see why the second trimester was the easy phase. Trimester 3 is a lot like 1 was but with an ever expanding stomach and a lot more pain.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Bad Chair!

Just a quick thought.

This morning I went to a meeting somewhere new. I sat in absolutely the most uncomfortable chair I've encountered in my pregnancy for probably 90 minutes. (To be fair, the chair was probably fine, it just didn't work for me during pregnancy) My back is in utter anguish now. I don't know how to rectify that if I encounter the problem again. But this cannot happen again.

Days Pregnant: 183
Days to go: 97

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

This and that

Today critter kicked my back for the first time. Or at least, I noticed him kicking my back for the first time. Good times man.

I had a rough pregnancy day. Lunch didn't stay down and it made for a very awkward afternoon meeting (all day meeting).

I also noticed that I had trouble regulating my temperature today. In fact, it was oddly specific. My hands, feet, face and neck were too hot while my arms were cold. Putting my sweater on just made my hands warmer and didn't change my arms much. Pfft.

Also, I miss drinking now. I went a good 5 months without missing it, but I keep going to events where I'd really like a beer or glass of wine. Oh well, a few more months. And such a good reason :)

Days Pregnant: 182
Days to go: 98

Monday, July 5, 2010

Stupid back

There are a lot of things about pregnancy that I mentally prepared for prior to getting pregnant. Giving up alcohol, caffeine (mostly), junk food (mostly)... those are things you know are coming. Morning sickness and needing to pee, also anticipated.

Back pain that started around month 4, not so much. My back pain is migrating. :/

I'm in week 25. I have 15 more weeks of growing and shifting and changing, and probably more back pain.

I'll get a prenatal massage soon.

Days Pregnant: 180
Days to go: 100

P.S. Oh crap. 100 days to go.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Berries, that's my craving

Wow, foods that I like eating are SO good.

I am super enjoying summer with the fruit and the berries. I've eaten my weight in fruit in the last couple of months. Yum!

Days Pregnant: 178
Days to go: 102