Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Post 200

This is one of those "duh" posts.

Having kids changed my body. I have lost 20 lbs, all my pregnancy weight, got back to my pre-pregnancy "size"... but not my pre-pregnancy shape. Like, not even a little bit. I just tried on a dozen different things from my wardrobe and while I fit into everything, nothing looked good. Stuff is bigger or smaller than it was before and everything just looks like junk on me.

I am now kind of at a loss. I kept wanting to lose weight so I'd fit back into my clothes. Now that they fit I know I can't wear them. Now what.

I'm not convinced losing more weight is going to solve anything (though don't think that's going to stop me). I think I'm a new shape, one that will require new clothes and will be difficult to fit correctly. And I don't have time or money to shop now.


Sunday, January 6, 2013

Body Image

I have been (mostly) seriously attempting to get in shape since Scott was about 8 months old. Of course, I had another baby in there, but I got serious again when Jeremy was 3 months old. In the last 7 months I have lost 20 lbs plus, I weigh less than I did when I got pregnant with either kid and I'm back into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I am doing extremely well! I am still working on it, but I've been very proud of my success thus far.

I saw a picture of myself yesterday (taken yesterday) and my only thought was "Wow, I look terrible". Ugh! I don't know if I will ever really feel good about myself in the moment. I can look back at periods in my past and think "Hey I looked great then!" but in the moment I rarely feel good about myself, even when I am proud of myself and working hard.

I don't know where it came from. I have a husband that is super supportive of me and my body at all weights (almost obnoxiously supportive). I was never bullied. I've only had one person ever call me fat and I was at my skinniest at the time. Ok, he only told me I had a big butt... and I kind of do.

Is it society? Will I ever get over this? I've moved past the eating disorder part of my life, and I don't have time to stress about how fat I am, and I still have excuses, but am I going to be dissatisfied with myself forever?

Pffft. Frustrating.

Friday, January 4, 2013

9 months, 3 weeks - walking

I'm calling it, Jeremy can walk. He's 9 months old.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

2013 Dinners - January

I've decided to keep a record of what we eat for dinner in 2013, including whether or not Scott (and eventually Jeremy) ate it. My hope is to update this post every few days, and make a new post each month.

Jan 1 - Tacos (Eric). Scott LOVED the meat and cheese and also ate some orange bell peppers.
Jan 2 - Veggie stirfry (kale, parsnip, butternut squash, artichoke, leek, broccoli) over rice pasta with meatballs and red sauce (Laura). Scott ate the meatballs happily, had a couple of noodles, one piece of parsnip and more bell peppers.
Jan 3 - Fritatta with leftover veggies from the stirfry (Laura). Scott picked around the artichokes but generally ate the whole thing.
Jan 4 - Leftover Fritatta. Scott did a pretty good job again.
Jan 5 - Steak, Orzo with leeks and Peas, Salad. (Eric & Laura). Scott ate the steak after a lot of prodding. And then he ate some oranges.
Jan 6 - Bratwurst and bell pepper strips (Eric) - Scott ate a bratwurst and some peppers.
Jan 7 - Chicken Tikka Masala, Rice & Peas. (Eric) Scott grudgingly ate a few peas and when he ate any of the chicken he called it hot (it was spicy).
Jan 8 - Tacos (Eric). Scott ate his meat and cheese again (with somewhat less gusto than 1/1), some tortilla chips, some tomatoes and some bell peppers.
Jan 9 - Hot Dogs and Fruit Salad. (Laura) - Scott ate a hot dog with ketchup, some bun, and a bunch of fruit. He liked that much fruit at dinner.
Jan 10 - Lemon Pepper Cod over Spinach Salad. (Laura) - Scott ate snacks for dinner (raspberries, yogurt, cheese, etc). I tried to feed him spaghettios but he wouldn't even try them.
Jan 11 - Quesadilla (Eric). Scott ate his quesadilla with taco meat, cut up peppers and cheese happily.
Jan 12 - Costco whole pre-chooked Chicken, Cous-cous, Salad/Chicken Soup (Laura) - Scott ate the chicken and some tomatoes. He may have also had some bread. He never really ate much of the soup in subsequent lunches
Jan 13 - Beef and Eggplant Stew with Mashed Potatoes (Laura) - Scott ate some of the beef out of the stew but began a week of not eating much dinner tonight.
Jan 14 - Lemon Pepper Cod, Rice and Beans, Broccoli (Eric) - Scott surprised us by declaring Broccoli awesome and eating a ton of it. He ate about 1 bite of fish and about that much rice and bean mixture.
Jan 15 - Stew Leftovers - Scott ate some meat and bread again.
Jan 16 - No idea. It's been most of a week and I've totally forgotten what we ate. This is because we went off meal plan.
Jan 17- Chicken Leftovers - Scott ate the chicken, some sliced peppers and a few tomatoes.
Jan 18 -  Egg Scramble with Bacon, Pepper and cheese (Laura) - Scott ate some of it.
Jan 19 - Outback Steak and Sides (provided by Linda) - Scott ate none of it. His absolute worst night of dinner.
Jan 20 - Beet, Chicken, Goat Cheese Salad (Laura) - Scott surprised us and ate chicken, beets, goat cheese and spinach without too much force feeding (although we did steal his train and tell him he couldn't have it back until he ate a bite, repeatedly)
Jan 21 - Shepherd's Pie (Fresh and Easy) - Scott ate as much as we did, repeatedly asking for more! It was great.
Jan 22 - Tacos (Eric) -

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Two, Three, Four, Five, Seben, Three...

Happy 2013!

I'm doing that thing where you document the first kid's developments really well and the second kid gets less documentation. It's not that Jeremy isn't just as amazing (he is, maybe more so), it's that I don't have 2 seconds to myself most of the time and when I do, I just zonk out.

But instead of whining about how hard it is to have two kids in diapers (it's hard), I'll just give you the long awaited update.

Jeremy is 9 months old. He is oh so close to walking. He takes steps, stands up without pulling up on anything, and walks/runs around while pushing anything that he can. He is also a climber, getting into and out of our little kid chairs, up on to boxes, climbing up the little slide we have... just being and adventurer. He is talking, but he's taking a break from learning anything new there while he masters walking. He'll be 10 months old next week and he'll almost certainly be walking by then.

I quite like having a little walker. He wants to practice and explore a lot of the time so it's gotten easier for me. But he's still content to ride along in the beco while we're out in the world, so I don't have to deal with him walking out in public just yet.

As for teeth, he still only has the two bottom teeth although I'd like to believe I feel bumps where the top ones are working on coming in. *shrug* I also got teeth late.

His first Christmas was almost unnoticed, but he was downright cute, even if he didn't care. He posed in cute hats, outfits, with his stocking, with his new chair, with his brother... he was adorable!

Scott loved Christmas this year, although he mostly enjoyed the cookies and the dollar store trains he got. Trains are his new favorite.

Developmentally Scott is finally learning to talk. He has hundreds of words now and he's getting much smarter. He's learned his colors, knows most of the numbers (although he always counts 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 3, 4.... I don't know what happened to 1 or 6). He is learning about animals and what sounds they make. He loves all vehicles and all things that move really. His favorite book these days is "Don't let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" and he can recite parts of it. My favorite is when he says "True Story!" because that's so cute.

The kids are starting to get along, although Scott is a bit of a bully right now. He will get frustrated if Jeremy gets in his space and he pushes him over regularly. But he will also share many things with his brother, both nice (toys) and not so nice (spinach). He'll do things in the car to make Jeremy laugh and that's wonderful. He always shows concern that the baby not get left behind.

Potty training still isn't in the sites yet, but we'll get there. However, having two kids that can play at the park is coming and that will be wonderful!

All in all, 2013 should be a lot of fun, and I'm SO excited to hit the point where I'm neither pregnant nor nursing and I can have my body back all to myself! No more checking out medications or worrying about a 2nd glass of wine! As for my body, I have lost all of the pregnancy weight, although as said by most women, I'm not back to my pre-pregnancy shape. My belly retains a lot of extra fat and that's frustrating. But I'm still working out and enjoying it, so the weight should continue to come off slowly.

And that's the news.