Thursday, January 20, 2011

No longer feeling pregnant!

Scott is 14 weeks old now. It seems that my body has decided that was the magic threshold to stop acting pregnant.

During pregnancy your hair stops falling out. Your nails get hard. Your period stops. As of yesterday, none of those things are true anymore. My hair is falling out in handfulls (this is just fine, it had gotten obnoxiously thick), my nails have been breaking for weeks now and my period is back in full swing (this one is really lame). But on the other hand, my body seems to have decided to stop looking pregnant too. Of course, I'm still over my pre-pregnancy weight and I'm still "fat", but my shape is no longer that of a woman in her second trimester. I'm actually pretty excited about the shape thing. Today I'm wearing a pre-pregnancy top and it looks pretty good. So that's cool.

In the world of Scott, he rolled over from his belly to his back yesterday! I gave him a better surface to roll on and it helped. Of course, when I wanted to see if he'd do it again, and put him back on his tummy, his reaction was basically "What? Seriously? I hate being on my stomach. Did you not just notice me correct the situation and roll to my back? None of that this time, I'm just going to complain until you fix it!"

But all in all, things are going well and I'm starting to feel like a real person again. I even kind of like coming to work. Kind of.

Scott: 14 weeks and 1 day old

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

12 week update (partially about mommy)

Scott is now 12 weeks old! And mom is back to work. And family is all gone for now.

I feel like I'm dealing with a lot of icky stuff right now. The most dramatic things are work related. I'm back at my job now 3 days a week. Leaving Scott in the care of daycare sucks, but it's a necessary evil. When I'm in a good mood I'm generally really positive about it because this is what's happening so I'm doing my best. I think daycare overall is good. It'll get Scott use to sleeping in a crib by himself, it'll socialize him (you know, when that becomes important), tt gives him variety that he craves, and I get to keep working. Working is sort of nice for all the obvious reasons, and it is a major financial benefit for my family because my benefits are awesome and my paycheck only goes half to the daycare costs.

But work is lame too. When I started here, I started with my best friend from college. We were roommates for 2 years, and then friends for 2 years, and then we had offices next to each other for 4 years. That's some serious support. The company is full of people a generation above us, and mostly men, so having that support network was key to us both surviving here. Then a year and a half ago, we got another friend of ours from college to start working here when she graduated! Score. But as of today, they've both moved on to other things, in other cities and I'm the last remaining female scientist in the san diego office. Today I ate lunch in my office and got a lot of sad looks from people. I spend a good portion of my time either crying or trying not to cry. It will ge easier, I know, but today is sad. I miss my baby and I miss my friends. I am SO thankful that tomorrow is one of my days at home with the kiddo.

So Scott has his first "cold"... although it really just seems to be some snot that's rattling around in his sinuses. He isn't coughing, has no fever, doesn't seem TOO much more fussy than normal, and no snot has come out of his nose. And he can still breath through his nose, if with somewhat more difficulty. This has been mostly fine, except last night he was basically snoring. He kept me awake for hours in the middle of the night while he slept peacefully, just loudly. On the bright side, he went 7 hours without eating and only ate once in the middle of the night! That's a really excellent thing! Now, if we can manage again, it'll be fantastic! Not that I get a choice mind you, but I can be excited when things go well.

In other news, Scott didn't poop at all yesterday for the first time ever. Babies do that, so I wasn't worried. But when I talked to dad this morning, he told me that the poop strike had ended after I left for work and in his words, "There was poop everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE! And then he peed while I was changing him." I do more than my fair share of the diapering, so this really made me laugh. It was probably the only funny and truly wonderful thing to come out of today so far. Thank you Scotty for making mommy's day!

Overall, motherhood is good but life is hard. I know things will get easier, but I'm allowing myself to wallow for a little while.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Sleep musings

Ok, I realized that I needed to end writing today with something more interesting.

Scott has stopped falling asleep in the living room during our normal nightly activities... at least, he doesn't often do this. In fact, I've brought him to bed with me the last couple of nights to try and get him to sleep. A couple nights ago he was nursing and I was playing a game on my phone, illuminating my face. He stopped nursing and just stared at me, smiling and cooing. Very cute, but I wanted sleep. So I put my phone down and we lay there quietly in the dark and he fell asleep. Interesting. I repeated last night, laying in the dark and again, he fell asleep. This gives me hope that maybe he'll be able to go to sleep on a ritual soon, maybe even getting him to sleep in his crib while I stay up and do things for a bit after he goes to bed, before I bring him to bed with me.

Sleep has not been an issue, but it's interesting to see how it's all developing.

Daycare Freakout

I'm back at work today for real. I'm attempting to work 3 days a week. This is day one.

Eric is currently still home with Scott, but he's going to be taking him to his first day of daycare shortly. I know I've been away from Scott before, and left him in the care of others, but prior to now it was all a one-on-one basis. That was much easier to think about. I'm trying to be really good and not freak out, but I'm getting so nervous about leaving my little boy in the care of people who will have other babies to look after at the same time. Sometimes he just wants to be held and walked around. Will he get that kind of care? I'm actually starting to cry over this.

Oh good, and if I didn't have enough pulling at my heart strings, Eric just called to tell me that he's gone through about 15 oz of frozen breast milk and it has all gone bad. That sucks as there is no fresh pumped stuff and it potentially means that all of the frozen milk is bad. I don't have a system for getting milk for him on Monday.

I'm maybe not ready for this after all it seems. But financially it makes sense for me to work. This sucks.